Pick-A-Nick...Or, A Lesson In Etymology

Inside information has come my way that a local company - who, for legal reasons, shall obviously remain nameless - has been browbeaten by the malingering forces of Political Correctness (yes, it's still alive and well and potent in our humble burg) to rename their annual Company Festivity. No longer is it the "Annual Company Picnic". It now must be rechristened "Family Day".

"Wherefore this alteration of appellation?" you might well be asking. Delighted to explicate...

A rumor that's been circulating since the late 90s - another of those pernicious internet hoaxes - alleges that the etymological derivation of the word "picnic" goes back to a Southern usage - "pick a nigger," i.e. for lynching. Spread a blanket, unload the food hamper, dig that strange fruit swinging from the poplar tree.

However, there is no basis - linguistic or otherwise - for this rumor, which reference to a decent dictionary (the kind that actually explains where words come from...) would quickly dispel. Not to mention a little old thing we like to call "the Internets" after our beloved Commander-in-Chief's usage. Even a quick perusal of something as basic and oft-used as Wikipedia will reveal this error. Snopes also has a page on it.

So - while it's perfectly delightful that the new name is family-values oriented - it seems that with a modicum of backbone and the gumption for a little research, the thin-skinned and 100% fact-free forces of the Thought Police could have been thwarted. Knuckling under to knee-jerk reactionaries does no one any good - except for the self-righteous satisfaction of the aforementioned dimwits - and continues the degradation of the English language best apotheosized in this quote from an MTV show (nameless here for evermore), "If only she, like, liked you..."

Nuff said. 

Only Madonna Can Save Us Now...

Lucky for us all, Madge, Timberlake (Justin), and Timbaland (not the footwear), have joined forces like some United Colors of Benetton JLA to save the world - in "4 Minutes" no less...

(Warning: Video link contains graphic idiocy and does not reflect the individual and/or collective view(s) of Team Blogsboro.)

How exactly will Madge & Co. save us all?

A close parsing of the lyrics reveals several pertinent clues:

1) "If you feel it, it must be real."

     Go tell it on the mountain, Flat Earth Society!

     David Icke, prick up your ears!

2) "Grab a boy, grab a girl."

     Apparently, sex with a random stranger can save our very lives. As long as we don't catch anything...

3) "Sometimes I think what I need is a 'you intervention'."

     On occasion, this can become absolutely essential. Just ask this person.

4) Justin: "At least I can say I did what I wanted to do."

    Thanks, JT. Marcus Aurelius would be proud.

    Way to philosophize the shit outta that one, bro.

If this all isn't sufficient reason - aside from the dubious spectacle of Madonna endlessly shaking her 50-year-old posterior at the camera eye (which, I'm pretty sure, would prefer to squint) - for you to set your YouTube player on perpetual loop, then I guess you just aren't drinking enough Kabbalah Water.

And you'd probably take Hard Candy from a stranger. too.

Fiefdom Isn't Free

Despite our fancy notions that we've come so far - historically speaking - since the Bad Old Days, having brought about a little number called the Industrial Revolution, not to mention preemptively invading nations to "promote democracy," maybe we haven't come that far. 

Just ask the sharecroppers of Sark - a tiny island fiefdom in the English Channel - where medieval feudalism ended, literally, the other week.

And To Celebrate -

We bring you quite possibly the filthiest, funniest clip in all YouTube land - "Uncle Fucker" from South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut.

Put Your Weight On It!

Guaranteed to blow your mind...

Thanks to Danny for the recommendation. Can't wait to check out the whole thing in glorious widescreen!

2 Girls 1 Cup Move Over...

And Mick Jagger just might want to watch his ass, too!

Viddy well, oh my brothers...Viddy well...

Rain Or Shine

Moolah, Scratch, Cabbage, Clams, What Have You...

NCA&T's World-Renowned Drum Line

Guerrilla Day Redux