Veggie Looks At Retirement

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming for yet another sighting of the Vegetable Stalker.

Hello, This is Bruce Apple with VNN., Veggie News Network, bringing you the latest news of that serial vegetable killer known only as the Vegetable Stalker. This latest report comes from a man who claims to be the Poet Laureate of North America. His name is Billy Jones and he claims to be a friend of the Vegetable Stalker. Here's what Mister Jones had to say about it.

The Vegetable Stalker said to me,
“This stalking gig is tough.
I’d like to learn another way
that maybe ain't so rough.”
Was then I said right back to him,
“You could write verse just like me.”
He laughed and said, “You’re starvin, Dude.
My veggies I gets free.”

So we contemplated going out
to try life on the road,
but Veggie said, “What will we do
when things start to turn cold?”
I said to him, “Well Veggie, Dude,
I guess enough’s enough.
I’m going to give up on the road
before it gets too tough.”

So as the night began to fall
and we sat round drinking beer,
the barmaid said, “It’s time you left.
Now get outta here,
but just one thing before you go.
Could you write for me a poem?
Then maybe I will take you home
an’ keep you nice and woem.”

Wow! While the mighty Vegetable Stalker sleeps off a beer-drunk hangover (I told him to add tomato juice to his beer but Veggie just hasn’t gotten over that whole tomato thing.) While Veggie sleeps off his hangover this writer gets a bit of much needed attention, if you know what I mean? As for my retirement, well the perks are pretty good even if the money ain’t there. Would somebody get Veggie a really big cup of coffee and a bottle of aspirin?

That was our report from North American Poet Laureate "TM" Billy Jones, who claims to know the Vegetable Stalker. Could it be that this is the end of the mighty Vegetable Stalker? Is this the last Veggisode? Not if the police have there way it isn't. Ya’ll stay tuned to VNN., Veggie News Network for more adventures of the Vegetable Stalker. For the latest updates in this Veggisaga, go to the VNN. website at VegetableStalker.com.

The Adventurers Of The Vegetable Stalker are made possible by Greensboro Video & DVD.