Terrorist Thug Attacks Greensboro Resident

I came home yesterday only to discover that Gus, the rooster. star of Discovery Channel Canada, had barely escaped with his life yesterday. He was fine when I left him in charge of the back yard yesterday morning but upon my return I discovered blood and broken feathers around his neck.

The yard is secured from dogs, wolves, foxes and coyotes, and because opossums and raccoons are nocturnal I'm lead to believe Gus's attacker was a certain black and white cat I spotted in the yard last Saturday. I'm thinking of a cat trap.

I'm speculating that Gus wasn't the cat's intended victim as any of my 4 hens would be much easier targets than a rooster that is far bigger than most of the terrorist, thug cats that roam the neighborhood. Even some of the human gangstas that roam my neighborhood are scared of Gus. My guess is Gus intervened in a cat's attempt to take down one of my hens and I'm hoping he got in a few well-placed jabs with the 1 and 1/2" spurs he so often practices with when taking on his 197 pound sparring partner-- me.

I promise you, if Gus weighed 197 pounds there would not be a man on this earth who could take him down. What if the GMF breeders were to succeed in growing 197 pound roosters? What if the world's real terrorists are experimenting with breeding 197 pound roosters that could fly across international borders and attack anywhere in the world? All it would cost is chicken scratch.

All yokes aside, Gus seems to be fine today, his crower in full working order and he's ready to receive guests at my cookout tonight.