I’m An Accessory
(The Day After Christmas)

There's reindeer poop in my front yard,
an' sled marks tell his track;
ol' Santa's headed for the pole,
an' he ain't comin' back.
The police, they're a lookin'.
Seems Santa's jumped his bail.
And if they ever catch him
they'll throw his butt in jail.

I met ol' Santa at the mall.
He said, Let's down a few.
That he was gonna hit a liquor store
was something I never knew.
An' so it is I'm hidin' out,
the police lookin' for me.
It was Rudolph kicked the front door in
an' I'm an accessory!

So Santa, he's a fugitive,
an me, I'm on the lam.
There's no one to look out for me,
an' I ain't got no plan.
Do you think they'd believe me.
Do you think they would be hard
if I told 'em I don't know a thing
'bout the poop in my front yard.

I should'a been knowin' better
than to run 'round with those elves
who come to town but once a year
to blow off steam themselves.
I guess the pressure got to them
with that big deadline to meet
so they're out there ransacking stores,
an' tearing up the streets.

So buddy can you help me
with a dollar or a dime.
It's real cold where I'm going;
snows 'bout all the time.
Gotta get my butt to the North Pole,
an' it's gonna be real hard
'cause the police are a lookin'
at the poop in my front yard.

I met ol' Santa at the mall.
He said, Let's down a few.
What he an' his elves was plannin'
was something I never knew,
an' so it is, I'm layin' low,
the police lookin' for me.
It was Rudolph kicked the front door in,
an' I'm an accessory!

It was Rudolph kicked the front door in,
an' I'm an accessory!