Wednesday
23Jul2008
Herpes Is The Least Of My Worries
Jul 23, 2008 at 01:58PM
About 25 years ago my then wife gave me the only gift I would ever get to keep. Until a few weeks ago I'd never told anyone about it. Fact is: until a few weeks ago I remained in denial but the flair-up that prompted me to tell Veronica was enough to force me to admit to myself what I've refused to admit since my late twenties.
That's one of the problems with Herpes. For some of us the symptoms are nothing more than an annoyance, easily passed off as a heat rash, infected pimples or other minor irritation. The incidents are few and often years apart and for many of us so minor it's easy to believe them something else.
To those of you who I might have passed Herpes to you have my apologies. Had I admitted the truth to myself I would have been up front with you. Sadly, the person most easily convinced is too often the person doing the lying.
Fact is: At this point in my life Herpes really is the least of my concerns as last week I suffered two very minor strokes.
My first known stroke was July 26, 2004. While I forget a lot it's easy to remember the date as it is also my mother's birthday. My daddy died from a stroke a few days after I returned from the hospital. Until a few months ago I'd managed to control my blood pressure, get in better shape and drop over 30 pounds. At 198 pounds I'm now the lightest I've been since I was 19. I doubt that most 52 year old men or women can say the same.
But something changed back about April and I again started having problems with my blood pressure rising. My doctors tried several different drugs with the results being wildly up and down swings in blood pressure. Some days it dropped so low I almost died, and on other days my readings were so high I was risking more strokes. Last Sunday and last Friday I suffered two minor strokes.
On Monday I started a new drug called, Aggrenox, and while my blood pressure is again normal the side effects were enough to send me home from work early yesterday and keep me home today. I'm told the side effects, abdominal pain, back pain, diarrhea, dizziness, fatigue, headache, indigestion, joint pain, nausea and all over body pains might go away someday. Thankfully, while I've been close the vomiting and bleeding have yet to happen.
But even the side effects of the new drug aren't my biggest concern. Missing work is a big concern. There have been days when I managed Salvage America alone and there is no waymyself, my boss or anyone else can do it alone. On any day when both of us are unable to be in the office much goes undone inside and outside of the office, mistakes are made, customers lost and tensions build. I've access to all the company books so I know the extent of the damage.
Then there's the expensive tests my doctors want me to take. I don't even know what all of them are but I'm told they will cost thousands even after the 55% discount Cone Hospital is offering me. We're a small, young business that is barely scraping by with debts out the wazoo and never enough of anything. Even my boss, his wife and two babies are without medical insurance.
I don't know why this always happens to me. Every time I begin to get on my feet a medical bill knocks me down. I've still not paid off the medical incident that put me down and caused me to loose my home in 2000 or the stroke in 2004 and now this.
Fact is: If it wasn't for the trickle of ad revenue this blog brings in I wouldn't even be able to tell you this. So you see, Herpes really is the least of my concerns.
That's one of the problems with Herpes. For some of us the symptoms are nothing more than an annoyance, easily passed off as a heat rash, infected pimples or other minor irritation. The incidents are few and often years apart and for many of us so minor it's easy to believe them something else.
To those of you who I might have passed Herpes to you have my apologies. Had I admitted the truth to myself I would have been up front with you. Sadly, the person most easily convinced is too often the person doing the lying.
Fact is: At this point in my life Herpes really is the least of my concerns as last week I suffered two very minor strokes.
My first known stroke was July 26, 2004. While I forget a lot it's easy to remember the date as it is also my mother's birthday. My daddy died from a stroke a few days after I returned from the hospital. Until a few months ago I'd managed to control my blood pressure, get in better shape and drop over 30 pounds. At 198 pounds I'm now the lightest I've been since I was 19. I doubt that most 52 year old men or women can say the same.
But something changed back about April and I again started having problems with my blood pressure rising. My doctors tried several different drugs with the results being wildly up and down swings in blood pressure. Some days it dropped so low I almost died, and on other days my readings were so high I was risking more strokes. Last Sunday and last Friday I suffered two minor strokes.
On Monday I started a new drug called, Aggrenox, and while my blood pressure is again normal the side effects were enough to send me home from work early yesterday and keep me home today. I'm told the side effects, abdominal pain, back pain, diarrhea, dizziness, fatigue, headache, indigestion, joint pain, nausea and all over body pains might go away someday. Thankfully, while I've been close the vomiting and bleeding have yet to happen.
But even the side effects of the new drug aren't my biggest concern. Missing work is a big concern. There have been days when I managed Salvage America alone and there is no waymyself, my boss or anyone else can do it alone. On any day when both of us are unable to be in the office much goes undone inside and outside of the office, mistakes are made, customers lost and tensions build. I've access to all the company books so I know the extent of the damage.
Then there's the expensive tests my doctors want me to take. I don't even know what all of them are but I'm told they will cost thousands even after the 55% discount Cone Hospital is offering me. We're a small, young business that is barely scraping by with debts out the wazoo and never enough of anything. Even my boss, his wife and two babies are without medical insurance.
I don't know why this always happens to me. Every time I begin to get on my feet a medical bill knocks me down. I've still not paid off the medical incident that put me down and caused me to loose my home in 2000 or the stroke in 2004 and now this.
Fact is: If it wasn't for the trickle of ad revenue this blog brings in I wouldn't even be able to tell you this. So you see, Herpes really is the least of my concerns.
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Reader Comments (2)
Aside from the initial outbreaks many people get, herpes is just a minor skin condition, the stigma is far worse than the virus. There are many support groups online for those who need it.
I wish you the best with everything else!
I am so sorry to hear you are not well. Very brave of you to share.