You're All Invited To Attend
Feb 5, 2006 at 10:12AM R.S.V.P...
I got an invitation,
got an invite in the mail,
got invited to a party
so I just said, “Oh well,
why not go to the party
for a night out I do need?”
I went down to the post,
mailed my letter, R.S.V.P’d.
Come the evening of the party,
cranked my car, lost my map,
but I was going anyway--
there’s no doubt about that!
I tooled along without a care,
thought, I know well the way,
and down the road a piece
was a sign, “pArty toDay!”
I turned into the driveway,
was a sign read, “iN tHe bArn
pArty with tHe aniMules
pArty oN tHe fArm!!!”
I thought not much about it,
just drove in, in the dark,
parked my car, walked in the gate
to hear a hound dog bark, “Woof woof!”
“Dog,” I said, “You ain’t never seen a wolf.”
I walked up to the barn door,
the music playing loud.
I said, “This party’s rockin’.
This party will be wild!
I hope I meet somebody fun
who likes to swing and dance.”
I combed my hair, checked my shirt,
made sure I’d zipped my pants.
And I walked inside...
...the cow was wearing earrings
and the pig, a pair of pants,
a horse said in a sultry voice,
“Big Boy, how ‘bout a dance?”
I thought, Perhaps I’ll run away,
but then she’d think me rude,
but dancing with a horse is strange
when she’s dancing in the nude.
Nude that is, except for her stiletto-spiked, high-heeled horseshoes.
The chickens were on stage
singin’ Rock-n-roll an’ Blues
while a rooster crowed to beat the band,
and the ducks danced two by two.
The sheep were doin’ harmonies,
singin’ “Bah, bah, bah, bah, bah,”
while a single lone soprano goose
sang, “La, la, la, la, la.”
A peacock in the corner
showing-off his pretty plumes.
The horse said, “He’s conceited
but he don’t have no moves.
You are so very cute,
come on, Baby, dance with me,”
then she shoved me to the dance floor
where I landed on my knees.
She said, “You’re wicked, Baby!
I can tell you get down!”
But I was thinking, I don’t know
if I should hang around.
Then the band, they played a slow song
an’ she pulled me up real tight,
whispered in my ear,
“Do you wanna spend the night?”
I answered, “I don’t know,
Dear, you might think me easy.”
She said, “Aw come on, Baby,
why do you wanna tease me?”
I said, “Give it some time,
let me get to know you better,”
then she kissed me on the mouth
and with her teeth, ripped off my sweater!
Well after that, seems everything
that happened is a blur.
I remember when she whinnied,
“Baby, ride me with those spurs!”
But now just two months later,
this invitation you now read:
Come watch me marry Jill the Horse,
and please R.S.V.P.
After everything that’s happened between us
it just seems like the right thing to do.
Poetry 
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