Hey Rocky, Watch Me Pull A Rabbit...

Sam Moose

I met a moose,
said his name was Sam.
I invited Sam to visit me;
Sam didn’t understand.
He followed me into my house
with everything he owned,
moved in, slept upon my couch,
and made himself at home.

Sam, he liked to eat a lot;
there was nothing he’d not try,
he munched the chairs, the carpet,
every house plant that I’d buy.
Sam lumbered ‘round, knocked things down;
Sam really made a mess,
and come time for his bathroom break...
Well I’m sure you can guess.

Sam wasn’t good with children,
he scared my own away,
an’ what a cost to feed him--
‘bout a hundred pounds a day.
And days when Sam got angry
he’d ram into my walls
knocking holes with his big rack
as he ran down my hall.

Sam didn’t like my TV set
so he stomped the thing to bits,
and if I was late a feedin’ him
Sam would throw big fits
so loud he woke the neighbors up
and they called the police,
but Sam would never pay my bail
or help with my release.

So let this be a lesson
if you ever meet a moose:
no matter how he begs or pleads
just leave him on the loose,
for if you bring him home with you,
you’ll get just what you get
for moose are better in the wild
and they don’t make good pets.

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Anybody wanna buy my moose?